If Your Baby has Fur, There May be a Problem

I whole heartedly believe that pets can become family members and there is nothing wrong with loving your cats or dogs or hamsters or bunnies.  But there is a line...and I'm going to draw it.  Pets are not children.  You may think that you love them like a child, you don't.  If you had to chose between your child and Barky Barkerson, I'm pretty sure Barky would be the one left at the shelter...Though there are days that I've wondered where the nearest orphanage is located, just in case.  I understand people that don't have children, and adopt pets.  I understand that pets can fill a void, provide companionship, and even reduce stress (there's your first clue that they are NOT children).  Here are a few other differences between pets and children...

• You can give birth to a baby.  If you give birth to a "fur baby" you're probably on the front page of the National Enquirer.
• You can put your pet in a cage.  Although I'd like to some days, you can not put your kids in a cage.
• You can leave your puppy home alone, though you may come back to a mess.  If you leave your baby home alone, you'll likely come back to Child Services.
• Pets get fed once a day.  My children never stop eating.
• Your dog can live outside and sleep on the ground in a dog house, though you'll probably get hate mail from PETA.  Your kid needs specific beds, bedding, monitors, etc. to go to sleep.
• Pets crap on your lawn.  Kids, OK, well, Micky has been known to crap on the lawn...but public pooping is frowned upon for children.
• Pets will always need you to fulfill their every need.  Children grow up and become self sufficient.  Unless they're male children, then they grow up and get married and someone else fulfills their every need.
• You can crack the windows and leave your pet in the parking lot to run into the grocery store.  However, do NOT park in the "Mothers with Small Children" spot as a pet is not a child (and really, I think you should be towed).  If you do that with your baby, someone like me will call the police on you.

Love your pets for what they are, furry, snuggly, drooly little animals that love you unconditionally.  But for the love of Pete, stop putting clothing on them and pushing them in strollers!